Why?

Why did God let us meet? Nothing good came of it. Were you my punishment for all the sins I committed when I was younger? Will you continue to be my punishment for the rest of my life? Is this my personal hell? Why God? I wish you would answer me. I'm sorry for all of the sins I have ever committed, truly. All I want is to be over this pain, this longing, this feeling of rejection, this feeling of failure, him. Please God, please. Please send me the man that will make me realize how badly he has always treated me. I'm ready, I'm ready to move on, I'm ready to be in love and be loved in return, I'm ready to let go of him and give myself fully to the one you have picked for me. Please send him soon, Lord. Please.